where my heart is at…

By June 15, 2020No Comments

I’m having a harder time than I thought moving forward from the past couple of weeks. It’s like I want so badly to get back to doing life and to be hopeful about the momentous gains we’ve made in making the world a better place. I want to celebrate the way that we’ve been listening to each other and standing up for one another. I want to work hard to teach my kids to be the brave ones – to be the kind of people who would stick up for anyone who isn’t being treated fairly. But to be honest, the world doesn’t feel like it’s becoming the better place that we all hoped it would. So many things lately hardly reflect who I thought we were as human beings, and I keep silently asking humanity this question:

Are you sure this is what you really want?

Changes to end racism, yes. But are you sure you’re okay with the route we’re taking to get there?

Don’t the feelings and actions of hate towards law enforcement officers make your heart hurt just a little? Like when you’re not on social media or behind your phone screen, does your conscience truly feel like what’s happening to them is okay? And I’m asking you to think of that question with politics aside. I’m not writing this because I think I can change your mind politically. I’m writing this as another human being who wants this world to be a better place for our kids, and for that reason I care how you feel about treating others with dignity and respect for their lives. Because isn’t that what we’re all doing here in the first place?

It’s pretty obvious that the mainstream opinion is that we should all hate cops right now. It’s become a movement that almost tries to normalize violence towards them, as if they personally deserve it. Our world is imperfect, and I accept that. I feel like that’s going to become more evident now than ever. Not everyone is going to respect the police, and not everyone is going to like them. I’ve been the wife of a police officer for long enough to know that part. But what I never considered is that wanting the world to think that it’s NOT okay to hurt police officers would be a controversial opinion. And the scary part is that more than just a few people are choosing to accept that and be silent about it.

And I keep wondering… are you sure this is what you really want?

Are you sure that you’re willing to accept the outcome of exchanging hate for a different form of hate?

It’s not a secret that the pressure is on for you to choose between supporting this movement to end racism or supporting law enforcement. But, why? Really ask yourself why you can’t support both. Is it because the news is telling you that you can’t? Because your friends on social media won’t think you want to end racism or want to end police brutality if you also support the lives of police officers? Stop. That is not true, and you know that. We’re at a point where law enforcement officers are being run over on purpose, like with the intent to take their lives… and for some reason it’s become not okay to care about that. Somehow saying that you don’t support hate towards anyone has become synonymous with not supporting the fact that black lives matter. The hypocrisy of that is something that I will never understand.

Have you ever considered how you’d explain that to your kids? Like in the midst of telling them about how we’re living in a time where we’re changing the world – changing it to be a place where love drives out hate and we stick up for people who aren’t being treated fairly, that you’d then have to describe that some people thought the best way to do this was by transferring their hate towards law enforcement instead. If your kids were listening in the beginning to what you were trying to teach them about being good people who are brave, then they might ask what you did about that? What did you do to stand up for people who weren’t being treated fairly? Were you brave? What did you do to make sure that hate wasn’t perpetuated with more hate? Would you be proud of your answer?

Isn’t saying that there is no excuse for treating humans as anything less than humans the entire point of the work we’re trying to do? If you believe that, then be brave enough to do it justice and be the change that you want to see. Not the change that your social media feed wants you to think is popular. Hating the police isn’t going to end racism. Teaching your kids that cops are bad isn’t going to solve our problems. You can try, but it won’t.

Are you sure this is what you really want?